Salty or Sweet

I think fondly of my childhood years.  They were certainly a lot easier in the sense that I didn’t have to do any work and money was just used for trivial things, like candy and chips.  One thing is for sure though: I should have eaten more snacks!  In retrospect, things turned out okay.  I’m now in good health and can absorb an insane amount of snacks.  Not only that, but I can afford to buy as many snacks as I want.  That’s the beauty of the situation.  I can walk into a convenience store with only $5 to my name, and yet I can afford pretty much any snack that suits my fancy.  Truly, I snack like a king these days.  So what are you waiting for? Go over to the closest 7-11 and get something your parents would never buy you!

Are you back now?  Great.  Listen, I’ve got something on my mind.  Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my snacking preferences and have stumbled upon something I never really thought about.  I’m starting to prefer one side over the other and it’s shaking the foundations of my life!  Let’s go through a quick role-playing scenario: I’m really, really hungry for a snack.  My mouth is dry and my stomach is making it known that it needs food.  In this hypothetical situation, candy is better than a bag of greasy chips.  Yes, I know you can buy non-greasy chips but then I’d say why on Earth are you going for such a weak substitute when you could get the real thing? 

Have you ever tried eating chips in a car?  It’s a hassle.  So much hand-eye coordination could wreck you (literally).  Tally another score for the candy faction.  And then consider the selection.  What’s the big deal these days with chip flavors?  It’s hard to stomach that you’re actually eating fried potatoes when they taste like pizza or barbeque chicken wings!  Flavored chips are evil.  They compromise both sides of the story.  They don’t taste anything like the food they try to emulate, AND it stops tasting like a regular chip.  So really it just comes down to a vegetable wafer with chemicals sprinkled on top.

Now think about a chocolate factor.  All that pristine stainless steel, vats of oozing hot chocolate, and a persistent smell of YUM!  Now that’s what I call luxury.  Candy is so versatile too.  Crunch Bars and Junior Mints are like distant cousins, and yet they’re still related.  There’s just something really exciting about buying a candy bar or a box of candy.  Those bright letters and tasty promises.  It makes a flat bag of chips pale in comparison.

By now you must have realized I am clearly partisan when it comes to chips and candy.  I am of the pro-candy lobby.  Sweets are perhaps the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Chips can make you fat, but sweets can punch a hole through your teeth!  Think about that.  Candy is powerful beyond your imagination.  That delicate dance of sweet decadence is unmatched in this world.  Sorry, am I rambling?  I must be on a sugar low.